twenty-nine: odd guy out

Grades 6,7,8 are generally pretty awful years for just about everyone. Puberty hits and everything seems to go awry. People who used to be friends turn into enemies are cliques are formed. Most people find their way around this time with the support of a few good friends. Others aren't so lucky, including S. I met him in grade 6 and looking back I can't even remember if I ever talked to him in the 3 years we went to school together. That's kind of sad for a small elementary and jr. high school.

S. stood out in the years when everyone is just trying to imitate the cool kids so they'll be accepted. He couldn't help it because sometime in his past he had brain cancer. His hair never quite grew back from whatever surgery he may have had, so his wispy comb-over look was definitely out of place when the look of the day was the bowl cut with the part down the middle. S also carried some baby fat, and wasn't graced with athletic talent. In the world of jr. high pecking order he was right at the bottom. People made fun of him, avoided him, ignored him, and probably made his life miserable. That much I do remember.

He kept to himself, and was perceived as socially awkward. I don't think at that time we understood that the collective whole was probably fueling this cycle of his being awkward. He never had a chance to shine, because there would always be someone around to put him down. Funny how someone who can overcome something like cancer can be completely helpless in overcoming social stigma from snotty tweens who really know nothing about life. I can't say I've kept in touch with many people from that phase of my life besides the odd person who has friended me on facebook. I don't even know if I'd recognize S. if I saw him today. I hope he's in a better place though, because we've hopefully all grown up a little.

S. you were so courageous to make it to school every day for 3 years without a friend by your side. I guess at that age you'd already experienced more than what some people will ever experience in terms of hardship. Your gentle demeanor was such a contrast to the self-created drama of the class. In some ways you were probably wise beyond your years. I wish I had gotten to know you better.