33: the people you see in Court that actually inspire you

I'm finally at the 1/3rd mark. Still not on schedule, but I have a nice canned post that I found today while searching my one note for saved online banking questions. Of course I have the passwords written down, but not the ridiculous security questions that I chose at the time. What? My favourite video game isn't tetris, mario, or anything on my Steam account? And why would I chose a question like, what high school did your spouse/partner attend? Umm I'm pretty sure I don't have a spouse... Well I have effectively been shut out from all 3 of my online banking institutions, I digress. I'll now c & p the blurb I wrote contemporaneously to when I was writing an essay on my judge shadowing experience last year.

--

I think the hardest part about being a lawyer is having to keep all the interesting client stories to yourself. Understandably these people come to you in the strictest confidence and any breach of that means your job is on the line as most of what you hear will either be very personal or very confidential in a business setting. I mean lawyers will always talk about their clients in a broad sense to other lawyers, sometimes comparing nightmares and difficult clients, but for the most part you're a holder a secrets. That is unless it goes to court - phew! There everything comes out to the public and is on the record and archived til who knows when.

We watched uncontested divorces in court today. Nothing special, and quite routine for a Family Court Judge. The people waited in the gallery until it was their turn, some with their lawyers. Some by themselves. All had an exhausted look on their face. The group of us law students perched eagerly taking notes were definitely the odd ones out. The cases were pretty standard, and the couples both represented by lawyers were granted their divorce in a smooth manner. 

There was one couple that really stood out for me. She was young, maybe a year or two older than me with three children. Her ex was probably around 40 and is the definition of deadbeat dad. He was working a low paying dead end job, that he eventually got let go from it because he was skipping work too often. He proceeded to move back into his elderly mother's house. He wasn't paying child support, which was what they were hoping to settle at the petition for divorce.

I wonder how she met him and what their story is. She seems like a bright girl and her testimony was clear and coherent. She was definitely on the young side to be a single mom of three, but she was optimistic about making it work. For her the first step was leaving this guy who was just tying her down and treating her like crap. They obviously met when she was quite young, and probably impressionable. Perhaps he caught her in a moment of vulnerability and exploited that. I suspect the first pregnancy came shortly afterwards, and the right thing to do was to get married. It wasn't the right thing though, as he wasn't supportive and was even abusive. She had the courage to leave though and continue on her way making the best with what was given to her. No road map in hand. Maybe some limited support. Three children in tow. 

Good for her, forging on ahead on what will most likely be a hard path. She'll probably hit roadblocks and obstacles, but after walking away from something like this she's that much more resilient. I hope she does have some support in place, because to do this on her own may not be possible (I know I wouldn't be able to). She may never see a dime of child support, and she may be in and out of family court fighting for what is owed to her children by their father. She will probably be facing a long up hill battle. But the judge left her with some encouraging parting words, and behind the scenes he said he felt hopeful for her. I think he had to say that, or days spent listening to families get torn apart just grate on you.