twenty-five: because of her I will be meeting Beverly McLachlin tomorrow =)

Ok I think I have to make a concession, this isn't going to be finished in 3 years... but I guess I'll just add whenever I feel the urge so I have something to look back on. I don't know when I stopped writing in my journal (maybe when life just got too busy), and I'm finding my memory is getting crowded out with all the stuff they make me learn at school. Honestly, I don't know why I'm there half the time... but after working in the summer I have gotten to see another side of law and justice and I feel some relief knowing that there's so much more out there than I first thought. I definitely have people to thank for that.

--

Several years ago a judge noticed yet another deficiency in our imperfect legal system, but instead of writing about it or studying it she decided to go out there and do something to change the way things are done. For a city and province that is more left than right, it is scary to think this kind of program has not existed until now. People have been falling through the cracks of the system by being 'self-represented litigants'. Using the term 'self-representing litigant' is really just a euphemism for unrepresented, or in a more practical sense - screwed.

I've been told by countless graduates that when you enter the work world you really realize how little you know, but even the bit of knowledge we've learned in school is leaps and bounds beyond what your average person who can't afford a lawyer knows when they set off to navigate the twists and turns of 'justice'. Is it really justice? No, of course not and as a person of influence that judge was able to set into motion something that could revolutionize the lackadaisical approach it seems the law firms in this city approach Pro Bono work.

She rallied up the leaders in the community, and was able to mobilize people with the same vision with her. And my favourite part of all about this story is as she was doing something she is passionate about on her one year sabbatical, others were drawn to her. Sometimes in the most bizarre of circumstances. One involving two people who just happened to be on the same flight home from Toronto, who had gotten to actually know each other beyond a typical student/teacher relationship because the student couldn't find a job right away and spent some time in the summer following an interesting court case. 

She was also able to spark my interest in the law in a way no textbook or even the most articulate Supreme Court decision ever could. Sometimes reading about people with the labels of plaintiff, defendant, accused, takes away from the human aspect of the law. But studying the law through the eyes of someone in poverty, now that is eye-opening. Thanks for helping me find a glimmer of hope to hold on to as I trudge through the motions of learning without actually doing. You have inspired me, and your confidence in me has made me realize the world is my oyster. Thanks for always looking out for me too, your emails always bring a smile to my face. Especially the one I got today about your plans to button-hole Chief Justice Beverly McLachlin tomorrow for an introduction :)

twenty-four: we met in jail

One of the great things about being a law student is the exposure to all these different parts of the legal system you may never end up dealing with once you're out in practice. Earlier this year we had a chance to go judge shadowing and we also had a chance to do a tour of the Remand Centre. For those of you who don't know, this is supposed to be a temporary place to house the accused until he/she makes bail. In reality it has in its own way become a sub-par holding place of people who shouldn't be there such as the poor old guy with Alzheimer who pushed his wife while in a state of confusion.

Being on the inside was only slightly similar to how it is portrayed in the movies. Though I suppose the lock-down that happened while I was there was a much more dramatic experience than what I thought would happen on the tour. We were given a tour by a guard, and this one guy has boosted my views on guards and those in power in law enforcement. He dispelled the stereotype I had built up in my mind of the kinds of people who go into that line of work.

He told us he sees his job as only a small part of his life, and the key thing to remember is to treat everyone with respect. Working for him is not about getting an ego boost, or feeling a sense of superiority. Rather as he put it, he's seeing these people regularly for quite some period of time and respecting them is critical to keeping things in control. Respect does not mean being a push over, or trying to be someone's friend. Respect is just about treating someone how you would want to be treated, civilly and decently. Simple as that. It's also a good lesson really for any workplace, or any human encounter really.

twenty-three: first love, maybe (double post of goodness today)

Well since 100 does eventually need to be reached I thought I'd include this one as well since it seems to tie into the theme of the night.

--

You always hear people say they never forget their first love. I don't know if I've had one yet but I did have a first relationship. It has been years now and I finally feel like I can look back without any emotional bias as to what happened.

If I could have a do-over I actually wouldn't choose to have one, because so much of that has shaped who I am today. I didn't think it would... but it you could always call me out on the crazy things I did and be patient enough to wait out my answer. Your one virtue that always constantly amazed me was your patience, and your tolerance of some of the drama I put you through. If I had the chance I would tell you in person that I am truly and completely sorry, and I will if the opportunity ever presents itself.

You changed me more than you probably even know, and without getting into detail I experienced some of the greatest reliefs to be able to share parts of myself with you. Things I thought I would keep tucked away in the back of a deep dark closet forever. Some may think it was all for naught, considering you are but a stranger to me now. But you really challenged me to look deeper into myself and expose the good and the bad. I wish I could say I challenged you as well...

You inspired me with your ability to express your emotions so freely, even though it is not a manly thing to do. I remember all those times I'd try to convince you it's much better to keep it bottled up inside, but in the end you were right. Your devotion to your family and those you hold close is something I'm working on getting to the same level as you. Sometimes I wonder what you're up to, and I hope that wherever you are that you're happy and content.

twenty-two: my stalker/stalkee?

A friend asked me about my blog today, and since I already wrote today off as a day where I wasn't going to get any work done and I want to do things that I enjoy I thought I'd add a new post.

--

Maybe it's a bit fresh to be posting this, but I feel confident that my readership had reached a nice low that this post may just got undetected. And really this is for me.

I met someone once, and it was a bit of a fairy tale. We were two strangers brought together by the strange twist of fate that is better known as Internet stalking. To be fair, it was not my fault he happened to just pop up in articles I just happened to read, and I felt a weird compulsion to message him. It seemed ok at the time, and I guess it was since, we developed some weird Internet friendship.

Maybe it should have stayed at that, but living in a city where everyone seems to know everyone we would inevitably meet. We had some epic long dates, where I felt I could just be myself and have a lot of fun doing just about anything and in some ways it just felt like it was meant to be. After all we were brought together in such an uncanny way and I felt comfortable enough within a short span of time I agreed to go to a family dinner. Trust me that is definitely not normal, since my commitment-phobia radar normally goes off at the thought of meeting the family.

We were strangely similar, yet we had enough of our own interests to make learning about each other interesting. In a lot of ways I was eerily reminded of myself in you, and one would think that would be a perfect match (at least you'd be able to understand my silent phone conversations).

I admired a lot of your qualities: your drive, your laid-back demeanor, your self-deprecating humour, your ability to get along with my friends, your independence... your ability to remain calm and collected or as some would say cold-hearted. In many ways you embodied everything I naturally want to gravitate towards being, but at the same time I know that being that person would also be my downfall.

Thanks for showing me once again how much I need other people in my life to know me on more than just a superficial level, especially those who are close to me. Thanks for reminding me that every choice has a risk, and that some of the biggest risks I have had to take have provided me with the greatest returns. Sometimes things do just happen, but sometimes you have to make them happen.Thanks for opening up at least a small part of yourself, so I know you're capable of it because one of the greatest joys is just sharing life with those around you. Thanks for making me that much closer to being able to articulate what it is I want for myself and what I want in a relationship.