twenty-one: heartbreaker

It's not every day you have the chance to meet someone who will just break your heart. Today I spent my morning on a bus collecting kids for a day program and handing out sandwiches. The bus took me to parts of town I didn't even recognize and it seemed like an entirely different city. I have never seen kids so eager to be touched and listened to.

There was one little girl who was really clingy and throughout the course of the morning she managed to tell me her life story. She is 7 going on 8, and is currently giving up sweet foods not because she's on a diet or she doesn't like them but because they make her teeth hurt. One look at the amount of missing teeth and fillings and that statement makes perfect sense. She likes going to beach, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and tickling her little sister. She seemed so oblivious to the obvious hardships of her life, besides the fact that she said she hated her dad because he was mean.

At first I was a bit turned off by the dirty clothes, the smell, and the wild hair. But since she climbed right up on my lap there wasn't much I could do... except to listen and to make conversation with her. It was actually pretty easy, and really she was just like any other kid whose world is a their oyster. This really surprised me because she was at the age where one generally becomes aware of the surrounding circumstances and hers do not seem to be in her favour. Growing up in public housing, parents' who allow their kids to go to a program where a) no criminal record check was done on myself (and probably the other volunteers as well), b) there was no training provided,and relying on others to feed her, are probably not what most people experience at that age.

I wonder what her future has in store, because it's going to be a tough one where the path of least resistance would be to repeating the footsteps of her parents. It breaks my heart that the statistics are against her and I wonder if she'll turn out ok. I hope she does.

twenty: there are benefits to being an insomniac

OK I'm going to try to do a quick blog before my new bed time deadline... So far I've moved from 6am to 4am and hopefully tonight will be 2am. I had forgotten one of the biggest benefits of staying up late is being able to catch my HK friends online and the other night I had a very interesting talk about incest, the caste system of India, and arranged marriage with one such friend.

I don't remember when I met her, but I remember many many nights of heading to the library after dinner until close, looking around for free common rooms to watch the only English TV program - C.S.I, eating McDonald's ice cream at every possible occasion, taking photos silly photos with mac's photo booth, etc. She could make the most routine tasks fun, and I have always admired how she could have good wholesome fun. Being one of the most devote Muslims I know she is one of the few I know who can balance her beliefs with a realistic life without being hypocritical.

The other night she told me of a choice she had to make, and I found her choice to be extremely challenging for me to swallow. If I were in a similar position I don't know if I would have been able to be the bigger person and brush aside my concerns for the betterment of the entire family balance. Apparently it's a cultural thing, but it is also very much a personal thing because cultural expectations are lower for those who don't grow up in the motherland (or at least that's how it is in my family).

I wish I could be more like that sometimes, less headstrong and more in tune with my cultural background. I think in some cases it is better to be submissive than to burn bridges that can never be mended. I'm proud that you were able to hold your anger in line and find other avenues to let it out without hurting your family, and I know your future has only better things to offer.