four: you are just so cute!!!!

I'm sure the next time I get to see you'll once again look different. But I still have to give you credit as the baby that changed my view on babies. I think I had this phase where I really hated babies, they just disgusted me beyond belief. The pinkish alien looks of newborns covered in grossness literally made me want to vomit. Hence the constant hiding in my mom's office whenever I visit her at work, heaven forbid what would happen if I happened to catch a glimpse of a newborn. Even after that initial phase of grossness I had a strong dislike for the parasitic tendencies of babies and small children. People always tell me that will change one day, you know 'when the clock starts ticking' or I have a kid of my own... all the while almost forcing me to hold their babies. (Talk about awkward!)

I actually don't even remember seeing you at your one month celebration, probably because you were so quiet and good. You definitely were around Christmas time, though all I remember is you sleeping in your carrier. Then 5 months passed and there you were resembling a human, and a very happy one too. I never expected to have to babysit you, as everyone in the family knows that is not my forte. But there we were just the two of us. Now of course you wouldn't let things be easy and smooth sailing, especially with your teething cookie. I suppose teething is a somewhat painful process... but you didn't cry. In fact you were smiling away and probably laughing at me. As you bit off a part of your cookie and kept it in your mouth.

I don't know who's idea it was to give you that cookie, but I did know one thing a big chunk of cookie could be choked on. The challenge now was to get the cookie out, but you wouldn't open your mouth no matter what I tried (so stubborn). I think I tried everything, even calling a friend halfway across the world to help with some creative problem solving (I don't think he actually picked up... which is probably a good thing looking back because engineering problem solving can be a tad mechanical) But you had a mind of your own, and just as I was at the end of my ropes and ready to call my mom to have a mental breakdown you calmly spat your piece of mush out. Just like that. Then a big happy grin.

If you weren't so cute I probably would've torn out even more hair than I had in frustration. But that's just it... you reminded me that babies often just don't know better. And holding my own perfectionist views on them wouldn't change anything, except maybe give me more white hairs. I think you made me turn all soft *sigh* which is a good thing for all the babies that have since crossed my path. Gone are the days where I've thrown out my bracelets after getting baby drool on them...