twenty-two: my stalker/stalkee?

A friend asked me about my blog today, and since I already wrote today off as a day where I wasn't going to get any work done and I want to do things that I enjoy I thought I'd add a new post.

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Maybe it's a bit fresh to be posting this, but I feel confident that my readership had reached a nice low that this post may just got undetected. And really this is for me.

I met someone once, and it was a bit of a fairy tale. We were two strangers brought together by the strange twist of fate that is better known as Internet stalking. To be fair, it was not my fault he happened to just pop up in articles I just happened to read, and I felt a weird compulsion to message him. It seemed ok at the time, and I guess it was since, we developed some weird Internet friendship.

Maybe it should have stayed at that, but living in a city where everyone seems to know everyone we would inevitably meet. We had some epic long dates, where I felt I could just be myself and have a lot of fun doing just about anything and in some ways it just felt like it was meant to be. After all we were brought together in such an uncanny way and I felt comfortable enough within a short span of time I agreed to go to a family dinner. Trust me that is definitely not normal, since my commitment-phobia radar normally goes off at the thought of meeting the family.

We were strangely similar, yet we had enough of our own interests to make learning about each other interesting. In a lot of ways I was eerily reminded of myself in you, and one would think that would be a perfect match (at least you'd be able to understand my silent phone conversations).

I admired a lot of your qualities: your drive, your laid-back demeanor, your self-deprecating humour, your ability to get along with my friends, your independence... your ability to remain calm and collected or as some would say cold-hearted. In many ways you embodied everything I naturally want to gravitate towards being, but at the same time I know that being that person would also be my downfall.

Thanks for showing me once again how much I need other people in my life to know me on more than just a superficial level, especially those who are close to me. Thanks for reminding me that every choice has a risk, and that some of the biggest risks I have had to take have provided me with the greatest returns. Sometimes things do just happen, but sometimes you have to make them happen.Thanks for opening up at least a small part of yourself, so I know you're capable of it because one of the greatest joys is just sharing life with those around you. Thanks for making me that much closer to being able to articulate what it is I want for myself and what I want in a relationship.